What I was thinking when having tea with Jay

At first when I saw Jay I felt all these different emotions and I was not realizing how happy and grateful it made me to be with Jay again. I missed everything about him. His smile, his charming personality, his great sense of humor, and his wealthiness. Everything about him made me feel so special and safe. I forgot what it was like to spend time with him and how often he makes me laugh. We carried on for hours catching up and talking about everything happening in our lives right now that we didn't even realize Nick had left. I guess he just left and went into town for a bit to give Jay and I some time to catch up and talk. While Jay brings me so much happiness and joy, I couldn't stop thinking the whole time about Tom. In those few hours with Jay, it was like I almost forgot I was married. I felt ashamed to admit that but spending time with Jay was like I had no other worries in the world and I forgot everything else. I felt a little bad enjoying myself so much with Jay and was worried that it would cause future problems with Tom and my life now. I knew that I was just getting ahead of myself too quickly and worrying like I do. So I stopped worrying and just enjoyed my time with Jay. After hours of catching up and talking with Jay, it finally stopped raining and Nick came home. I went over to the window to take in how beautiful it was outside with the sun shining. Then, Jay invited Nick and I over to his house to give us a tour and spend some time all of us together. I was so excited I couldn't wait to see what Jay's house was like and everything within it. I knew I would fall even more in love with him.